Sharkey Speaks Out

Ms. Finch (if that IS your real name);

While I applaud your venturing into the world of Private 
Web Pagemeistering (otherwise known as wa-wa-wa world), I feel 
duty bound to point out a slight discrepancy in your section 
referring to Merchant Gentlemen.

While it is true the links you've made available do cover 
several (in)famous historical (and oft-times colorful) figures, 
you have neglected the man who (some argue) has done more (some 
say too much) for the image of the seagoing gentleman merchant 
than any other through both past and future histories, by
yer flamin' beard.  (Sorry. Strike that. I meant, "I dare say.")

This fellow, while called fop by some and Boo-Head by 
others, has demonstrated on countless (seven, actually) 
occasions that he is indeed a great leader of men and terror 
of cabin boys. Statesman, author, swordsman, psychologist,
brewmeister, and ... lots of other stuff, gar and belike. 
His reputation is loyal and his crew is frightening. No. Wait. 
That can't be right, can it? 

"His name?" I hear you cry. Why his name be feared round 
the Cape of God Rock and through the Straights of A-Boo and up 
one side and down t'other, let me tell ye.  It echoes off the 
concrete canyons and rolls across the fruited plain like a
Winnebago with a drunken Klingon at the wheel, by yer eyes. 
It be a name synonymous with...with...

Where'd I put that bleedin' thesaurus? Ah cracky...HEY! Who 
spilled the daquery on my writing desk and left it to get all 
sticky and gross? By thunder, there's my mint condition copy 
of the novelization of Buckaroo Banzai all pink and yucked out. 
I'll have someone's hide fer this. LAMONT! Lamont ya seaweed 
covered barnacle, where are ye. AH! I see ye cowering behind that
Xerox repair manual. Come're. I'd have words with ye. Come back 
here! Don't make me chase ya, ye bottom feeding... aw, cripes.

---

Last rant date: Sept 16, 1998