Who Needs (P)Article Accelerators?

Ever want to know how a baseball is constructed? Simply apply our patented JakeyNoodleOoo to your problem and your specified article is disassembled as thoroughly as subatomic particles smashed in a particle accelerator.

No charge. I'm positive.

(I just want to point out, in case you think he's got nothing else to do with his time, that there are five--count them, five--other toys within pouncing distance in this very photo.)

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